Ren's Crazy Date Show!
by Vanitus Omnipotent
Summary: Inspired by The Game show of Jaune Arc's dating life by Azure Megacyber. Welcome to Ren's Crazy Date Show! The omnivese's new dating show where both dating and smut collide! Will Ren survive or will Nora become a yandere? (Note, Yuigiohfan123's OC Cynthia will be co hosting!)
1. Prologue Part 1

-Vale-

It was a nice day out as the people got ready to watch the news, only for static to be shown on every channel and every station in Remmant. Which of course confused people and pissed others off.

However that was when a large gold symbol of a skull appeared on the screen.

"People and Fauni of Remment!" called out a voice. "Do not change that channel, it is not a bug in your pathetic systems."

"Huh? What's going on?" asked Ruby looking at her Scroll.

"I don't know!" Yang frowned.

"Then let me explain boobie bird!" Yelled the voice in the screen. "Jeez you are a bird brain!"

"Wait...did the person just answer you?" asked Blake with a raised eyebrow. "That's creepy."

"Like you and your ex." The voice said before coughing. "Anyway, today and for as long as me and my niece Cynthia will it, you shall watched the most interesting show in the omniverse!"

"I'm getting to the bottom of this." spoke Weiss before dialing in the emergency number.

"Hello." Said a girls voice. "This is RCDS, how may I help you."

"RCDS?" She said before the line was cut. She frowned and tried hitting redial, only to get static. "Whoever's doing this is going to be in serious trouble."

The voice coughed before revealing a large gameshow area made of gold with stars all over the place with a red cloaked figure and a small girl with a witches hat and translucent skin in the center. "Welcome to Ren's Crazy Date Show! The one show in the omniverse that actually allows fucking and dating all at the same time! I'm your host Omni, and this is my co host Cynthia the Slime Doll!"

"Hi daddy I'm on TV!" she waved.

"Oh and Nora?" Omni called out. "Do you see your senpai near you by chance?"

"Wait, did that guy just talk to me through the screen? I've done weird stuff but that might be the weirdest." Nora said before noticing that Ren wasn't near her, or in the room at all.

"Anyway." The cloaked figure said before pointing to a pedestal. "Let's meet our lucky bastard of the day! Lie Ren!"

An invisible crowd clapped in the background at that point.

"Wait, did he just say Ren?" asked Jaune.

"I believe so." Pyrrha said with a nod. "But why is he on a show like this?"

"Glad you asked Jaune fetishist!" Omni smirked. "We all know that in every universe that Jaune Arc gets the girls, which is fine but what about Ren?! Look at him," he pointed to Ren. "He needs love too! I mean LOOK at him! It's like a cute girl with boy like features!"

"Um…..I'm a guy." Ren pointed out.

"I thought you were a girl when I heard about you so ha!" Omni said with a laugh.

"Can I play with him?" asked Cynthia.

"No." Omni deadpanned. "He is not up to your standards, plus Nora would turn you into maple syrup if you tried anything on her 'boyfriend'."

She huffed.

"But you can make him wear dresses during the commercials." he grinned.

"That's what I meant, what did you think I was talking about?"

"Fucking with him." he deadpanned.

"That's for mommy and daddy." she deadpanned back making everyone hearing or seeing this cringe.

"Ew." Ruby muttered.

"So is your juice cookies." Omni said in a sing song voice. "Oh and also, for the next few months or so, Lie Ren will be dating girls or…" he whispered. "Traps." he then looked at the camera. "And while yes there is a universe where Jaune Arc got with it, this will be different."

"This makes no sense." spoke Jaune shaking his head. "Is this some kind of prank?"

"No." Spoke Nora. "Because RENNY isn't HERE!"

"We've gotta save him." spoke up Pyrrha.

"He's fine." Omni spoke out. "And please don't piss off the god of space and time along with a goddess in training." he pointed to Cynthia. "It won't end well for any of you, you too Adam Taurus or should I call you Cock Face McNipple?"

"Give me Renny back!" yelled Nora shaking the screen.

But that was when Omni ignored her and smiled. "Ok, now for the rules of the show."

A large chart appeared on the big screen in the studio.

"Number one, no killing of Ren, the girls, or any Nora based clones." He deadpanned. "I don't want this place turning into an omniversal snuff show!"

"Even I don't like that." Cynthia stuck her tongue out.

"You and me both." He shivered. "Rule two, no sex outside the dates between Ren and the girls. I really don't want jizz on the floor."

"Wait….WHAT!?" Ren yelled.

"Rule three, multiple copies of one girl can be used but only four at a time for a single date. If we didn't make that rule all of Blake's clones would make the list."

"Copies? He's implying there can exist more than one person of the same nature. It's official, these people are some escaped psychos." remarked Weiss.

"MEANY!" yelled Cynthia from the screen. "MEANY BIG ASS!"

"There there." Omni said with a smile. "She didn't mean to say that, she's just scared that we might be crazy. She didn't mean to call you a psycho."

"Still...she's a meany."

Ren looked really lost at this before the world became gray as he and the robed figure were the only ones moving.

"Ok reviewers, this is rule three and a half, the girls that are going to be in this show NEED to be ones that are from series I know off so if you are DMZ fans, then I have no clue what to do with it. And before you get ready for the shipping, post a GOOD reason why they should be together, meaning not just because they are sexy or because it is for laughs, I need a valid reason so he, a trauma victim, doesn't get confused and very unwilling to date any of them!" Omni frowned. "So PLEASE don't just add pairings like in CTWL, it's annoying and won't help progress the story."

"Who are you talking to?" asked Ren.

He turned while the world regained its colors. "Oh nothing, just reviewers."

He looked lost at that while Cynthia looked at him with a very cute smile.

"Hi." She waved.

"Um, hi."

"Do you like dresses?" She asked while Nora's ears perked up.

"Um...why do you ask?"

"Because you'd look good in a dress." She smirked. "So maids outfit or bunny girl?"

Pyrrha blinked before seeing Nora having a nosebleed. "Nora? Are you ok?"

"Huh? Yeah! Just peachy."

"But your nose is bleeding." Jaune said pointing to her nose. "Like a lot actually."

"No it's not." She said while her nosebleed started to make a pool of blood near her feet.

Both sweatdropped at that.

"Ok." Omni called out. "Rule four is this, deities from Earth Prime, aka Dimension Prime, can be used if they are female, is gender bended, a shapeshifter, or a trap in their respective myths and legends. Oh and no fictional ones like oh say Cthulhu. No need for those things popping up and making Ren mad as a Ursa in a glass shop."

"Ok you've clearly gone off the deep end, because that's impossible." spoke Ren.

Omni deadpanned before summoning a golden dragon with three heads and no arms. "No I'm sound of mind, especially since I just summoned this guy from another dimension."

" _KREI!_ " All three heads roared out.

"Holy Dust!" spoke Ruby with wide eyes.

"What the hell is that!?" Weiss yelled out.

"King Ghidorah." Omni said while causing it to vanish in a red portal. "So believe me now about the omniverse Lie Ren?"

"Y-Yes." he squeaked.

"Good now for rule five." He said while pointing to the screen. "Harems are allowed at the consent of Nora, your Nora not any copy of her. So Nora! Do you want your Renny to have a harem?"

"NO!" she growled. "Tell me where he is!"

"Nope~" Omni said. "Sorry, but we still need him for a spell."

"GRRR!"

"Ok um Cynthia." He said while giving her a cue card. "Please read this next rule."

She nodded. "Rule six, if one says the phrase, 'Boot to the Head'-"

KICK!

"OW!" yelled Omni in pain as a boot came out of nowhere.

"You will get a 'Boot to the Head'."

KICK!

"FUCK!" Omni yelled out as another boot hit him in the face. "WHY ME!?"

Yang snickered at that. "Ok, that's pretty funny."

"How?" Weiss frowned. "The use of 'Boot to the Head' is ridiculous!"

KICK!

"OW!" she cried out as a boot hit her on the forehead.

"Ok, that's freaky, we gotta get the police." spoke Blake.

"But what if this guy took over the police?" Asked Ruby. "I mean he did summon a giant monster!"

"Then we'll get the teachers." frowned Weiss rubbing her forehead.

"After we find clues." Yang suggested. "If he's broadcasting this from somewhere in Vale, we can use that to our advantage and save Ren."

"I just hope he'll be alright." spoke Pyrrha.

Omni looked at Ren before saying. "Rule seven, all girls that finish their dates are to go…" he pointed to a door with a amusement park inside. "Our waiting room until the end of the show, where we pick the winning pair and give you a wish."

"And the show is brief, right?"

Both him and Cynthia looked at each other before shrugging. "No clue."

"Wait, you don't even know?"

"It depends on viewers and their love for you getting hitched." Omni shrugged. "Hell I don't know and I'm the god of time and space."

"Luckily we have all the time in the world." giggled Cynthia.

Ren shivered at that.

"Oh and the final rule is this." Omni pulled out a box of condoms. "Ren is not allowed to use these," he then threw it into a portal. "For his dates! Ha ha ha ha!"

"What?!" cried out him and his friends.

"What? This is a show that will do both dates and full on fucking. Really, what did you think this was? A normal dating show?"

"So get ready for blowjobs." Cynthia giggled with a thumbs up. "And tentacles!"

"He can't be serious, what if kids are watching this?" spoke Blake shaking her head.

"And for you mother hens out there." Omni smirked. "Don't worry, they WILL be watching it! Can't have them experience things without watching them ya know. Especially you Raven and Kali."

Yang and Blake looked confused at this before seeing Omni pointing to the screen.

"Now for the ladies! After these commercials of Ren in a speedo!" He said as a montage of Ren in a speedo appeared on screen.

Nora popped another nosebleed making Jaune step back.

"Ok seriously Nora, get some tissues!"

"I can't!" she snapped. "This is SO HOT!"

"Then get a towel!"

"I need to see the speedo!" she yelled while more blood flowed to her feet. "Hey, is it just me or is the room spinning?"

Pyrrha groaned while a 'To be continued' sign appeared on screen. 'Nora.'


	2. Prologue Part 2

Prologue part two- Introduction to the girls…EH!?

Note: Reread Rule 3.5 because I won't look at the reviews on the girls you suggest if you DON'T give a valid reason for WHY these girl(s) or traps should date Ren.

xxxx

-Vale-

Nora groaned while looking as white as a ghost from all the nosebleeds she endured from the speedo montage. "I see….speedos…"

"Nora, maybe you should see the nurse." suggested Pyrrha.

"I can't….Renny is….still…." She groaned while the Scroll beeped and showed Omni and Cynthia playing cards.

"Got any twos?"

"Go fish."

"Damn it!" he groaned. "You are too good at this, and you made Ren play this too!"

"Yep and I got his pants and underwear to boot." She chirped while Ren was in the corner covering his junk.

"I'm never playing with you two ever again!"

Nora popped another nosebleed making Jaune groan.

"That's it, Pyrrha get her out of here before she dies, she's lost way too much blood as is!"

"Ok." She said before Nora got up and grinned.

"Show me more!"

"Nope." Omni said to her from the screen. "And welcome back to RCDS! Where the cards are stacked in your favor! Hope you like the montage because we are going to show you more much later!"

"Nope." spoke Pyrrha shutting the Scroll off before pulling Nora away. "You need to get your blood back and watching this show isn't going to help you."

But that was when the Scroll floated up and got bigger until it blocked the door.

"Sorry." Omni said from the screen. "But we have a schedule to do so Pyrrha, just stay here so we can get on with the girls Ren's going to date!"

"Ok look, we don't know how you can do all this, but she keeps losing blood the more she watches. You let us out or I'll take it down." warned Jaune.

"Oh that." He shrugged. "Drink water, works for me. And Jaune, you don't scare me because I know your transcripts~"

He stiffened in fear.

"So be quiet and let me and my niece do our jobs, kapeesh?"

"Um, kapeesh."

Ren sighed while taking his underwear and pants back from the Slime Doll. "So who are these….girls?"

"Glad you asked!" He grinned before making twelve portals appear. "Because that is what we are going to explain to the entire populace of Remnant!"

"This show is outrageous and unethical." frowned Glynda with Ozpin. "We need to come up with something."

"Such as what? We don't know where they took Lie Ren and for all we know they might have more than just giant monsters at their disposal." Ozpin warned. "If anything it's better we hold off and see if he slips up. At the worse Ironwood might scramble his men to locate them if he's really taken control over the communications."

"True." She admitted begrudgingly.

Omni smiled while looking at the portals. "Ok, Ren. I want you to pick a number from one to twelve and that number will be the first girl you meet. And don't worry, a female Ironwood isn't here….yet~" 'He he he.'

Ren looked lost while over at a bar Qrow burst out laughing.

"Oh god! That's funny!" He laughed while falling on his ass.

"Well go on." Omni beckoned. "Pick a number."

"Fine, um….four."

"Ok!" Omni grinned as the fourth portal opened to reveal a tall figure, about six or seven feet taller then Ren, with shoulder length orange hair, ichigo eyes, wearing armor with a gold eagle on the chest plate, with a combat skirt going to her knees, a D cup chest and small ass, with a large mace on her back. "Introducing Cardina Winchester from Dimension 43-2 GB!"

That made JNPR, RWBY, and the regular Cardin gawk in horror.

"Meh." Cardina said while looking at Ren. "He's not that handsome, but I have to say he's better than Yuno."

"Who's Yuno?"

"The male version of Yang." Omni smiled. "And is a drunken version of miss boobs."

"HEY!" yelled Yang with a frown. "I'm more than just tits you jerk!"

"Oh god, I'm gonna be sick." groaned Jaune covering his mouth.

"Wow." Nora said while regaining blood. "Who knew Cardin was a semi good looking gal? But her butt is so tiny!"

"Nora, this is creepy enough as is, that's not helping." spoke Pyrrha.

"Why? It's not like they're talking about a male version of you."

"That's not the point!"

Cynthia looked at Ren and smiled. "Pick another number please."

"Hold on!" Omni frowned. "We forgot to tell the audience about Cardina and what makes her special."

"Oh right!"

"Cardina is from a timeline where everyone is gender bended." Omni explained. "But unlike this one, she came from a poor family and had to fight to survive just to get into Beacon, and by god, she nearly killed Joan Arc when they first met. With a toothpick."

"And she thinks fauni are whores." Cynthia said with a giggle.

"Well they are." scoffed Cardina.

"Anyway, her Semblance is the ability to cause anything to explode." Omni smiled. "So Cardin, don't worry, you will get your Semblance soon."

Said boy looked confused at that while his team just looked at his copies breasts. "Hey! Stop that!"

"What?" Sky said. "That version of you is smoking hot."

"You're acting gay if you say something like that."

Omni smiled. "Ok! Ren, pick another number from one to twelve!"

"One?"

The first portal opened up as a woman with four long black bat wings, pale skin, black hair in a bun like style with two long bands going to the sides of her blue eyes, a bat symbol on her forehead, purple lipstick and nails, razor shape black ribbons with gold tips, two gold horns on her head along with some golden accessories and pins, a G cup bust, medium sized ass, long purple robes with a black catsuit outfit with two curved sleeves around her shoulders, long black stockings with a dark yellow orb near the knee, and a long golden gauntlet on her right hand that had pointed tips.

"Meet Lilithmon! From Dimension 34-DG! And no she's not a fauni but a Digimon of the most powerful kind!" Omni smirked. "Oh Cynthia, please tell the audience about her titles and abilities~"

"Lilithmon is one of seven Demon Lords, each one who represents the seven deadly sins. She obviously represents lust due to these." she moved up near the woman before cupping the breasts making them jiggle and made everyone watching blush hard.

"Stop that child!"

"And she is a Mega level, like a very powerful one that used to be a high ranked Ophanimon before falling. She uses her Nazar Nail," she pointed to the gauntlet. "To corrode anything she touches. Oh and she's a temptress!"

Ren paled as Lilithmon looked him over with a smirk.

"Mmm, what a interesting human. No digivice yet still has the power to rival Lucemon, how unique~"

"She could make a goth look like an albino." whispered Weiss with wide eyes while Blake nodded.

"And she's a digital life form." Omni said to the screen. "So Ironwood and Penny, if you hear me. YOU FAILED AT MAKING LIFE!"

Said general frowned while Penny compared her body with Lilithmon's.

"General Ironwood." She said with a frown. "Can you upgrade me to her specifications?"

"Absolutely not Penny."

"But friend Ruby might like being a winged digital life form." She said with a light blush.

"No."

She huffed at that while carefully recording the details of the Digimon.

"Ok so pick a number." Cynthia with a smile. "And do jumping jacks too!"

"Do it." spoke the Demon Lord of Lust while looking at Ren like a hungry wolf.

"Um….nine?" Ren gulped as the ninth portal opened up and caused a pink slime to fly out and hit Cardina in the face.

"MMM!" she cried out while trying to get the slime off her face.

"What's that?" asked Ren.

"The next girl." Omni said while the slime fell off and took the form of a gooey Nora with a long antenna on her head. "Meet Zap Valkyrie from Dimension 7-1MG. She's a slime version of Nora!"

"Zap?" The copy said while looking around. "Zap?"

"N...Nora?" Ren got out while the others gawked as well.

"Oh god!" Nora cried out. "I'm covered in goo!"

"Zap...Renster?" Zap said while looking at Ren. "Renster?"

"Oh and in her world, you were the one to make her." Omni chuckled. "Something about mixing alien slime and a piece of dead hair from your deceased girlfriend."

"Wait, I MADE her there?" he asked with wide eyes. "But she looks just like Nora, minus the whole...goo."

"But she can do something you can't." Omni smiled. "So Zap, initiate Renster Seduction mode!"

Her eyes glowed pink before her chest grew to a Z cup chest and her ass grew to the size of a truck. "Renster Seduction mode complete~ Zap."

"Holy shit!" let out Yang with wide eyes.

"What big assets!" Ruby yelled out. "Like its BIG!"

"They make our room look tiny." spoke Blake with a blush.

Weiss looked flabbergasted while with Nora, she was feeling very 'lacking' for some reason.

"Oh FUCKING COME ON!" She snapped. "That should be ME seducing Renny with my assets!"

"Oh and this version of Nora is as dumb as a brick." Omni smiled. "So she won't try to take over the world or anything."

"Um...good?" blushed Ren who's jaw hit the floor.

Zap smiled before returning to normal. "Renster, pat me."

He blinked before patting her head, making the antenna turn into a heart.

"Purr~" she purred while Nora was besides herself with anger.

"Anyway! Time to pick another number!" Omni smiled. "So go and call it out to the world Lie Ren! So the fans will see their bosoms and cocks!" he whispered that last part to himself.

"Eight."

The eighth portal opened up as a bright light appeared along with some flames.

"OW!" Yelled Coco while wearing a white robe, with a broken halo on her head, and two burning white and black wings in her back. "HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!"

"Meet Archangel Coco of Dimension 45-A, or in this case Fallen Archangel Coco." Omni said while summoning an extinguisher and sprayed her.

"Me?!" cried out Coco with her shades falling off as her team were blown away.

'Wow.' Fox said. 'Just….wow.'

"In her world, she used to govern a large army of angels until she pissed off God." He pointed up. "And she was about to go to Hell when I snatched her, so Ren. Congratulations, you saved a Fallen Archangel!"

The 'audience' clapped at that while Cynthia was blowing a birthday horn.

"C...Coco? She's an angel?"

"Fallen Archangel." He corrected. "And she used to rule over Patience, which we all know is not her thing."

"That is true." Velvet muttered to herself.

"Hey!"

"Sorry!"

Archangel Coco looked at Ren before saying. "Let me guess, a human?"

"Yes?"

"Good because if you were a demon I would have used your spine like a toothpick." She said while looking at her now destroyed wings. "FUCKING HELL!"

Ruby blinked while hearing the girl cursing a storm. "Wow….she's fucking crazy."

"Ruby! Language!"

"But Yang! I'm old enough to curse!"

"Not while I'm around."

Omni chuckled before turning to Ren. "Next number."

"Um…..sixth."

He grinned as the sixth portal opened up to reveal a young girl with dusty rose hair which was in a bun with a gray band, pink eyes, a long green dress with long sleeves and shoulder cutouts, a black ballet flats with a pink sash around her waist, a B cup chest and a small butt. "Meet An Ren, the mother of Lie Ren and in this case, from the past of Dimension 01-2DL, and she's not married yet~"

"Huh? Where am I?" said An Ren in shock. "And who ARE you people!?"

"M..Mom?!" spoke Ren with wide eyes with Nora gasping in horror.

"GHOST!" yelled Nora before hiding behind Pyrrha. "EVIL GHOST!"

"What? Ghost? Wait, mom?" spoke Jaune looking at the screen. "That's Ren's mom?"

"YES!" Nora cried out. "B-BUT SHE'S DEAD!"

An Ren looked at Ren before blinking. "Um….hello?" 'Why am I here!?'

"Mom...are...are you really alive?"

"Huh? I'm not a mom." She said while Cynthia moved towards Ren.

"She didn't give birth to you yet. She's only fifteen." She giggled with a smile.

"Wait, really?"

"Yep." She nodded. "So if you get funky with her, it won't hurt you. I do it with mommy and daddy all the time."

"And she means it." Omni called out. "Like it's really hot when they get with it….with tentacles….ugh…"

"What?!" he turned green and shook his head. "No, no way, no how! I'm not gonna do this if it involves another version of my own MOM!"

"But she's unmarried. And in a scene, you can't leave." He smiled. "So just relax, it won't all be fucking and that stuff. It is a date show, not a bad porno that Whitley watches. Ugh, why the crossdresser watches his sisters bathe with a video recorder is BEYOND me!"

"WHAT?!" yelled Weiss, her sister, their father, and brother, the last two in disgust and embarrassment, and the first two turning green.

"Wow." Blake said while looking at Weiss. "Your family has issues."

"Did I just ruin their family?" Omni giggled. "Because that was fun~"

"Mmm, kinky." smirked Lilithmon while Ren shook his head.

"I didn't need to hear that, but I stand by what I said."

"Well Ren." He said while pointing to the walls. "I didn't install door or windows so...ya stuck here. So pick a number so we can get on with the intros."

He glared at Omni before crossing his arms. "Make me."

He sighed before moving his hood and revealed it to be empty except for a large cannon. "Do it or I might fire at you."

Ren stared at him silently before sighing. "Fine, seven."

The seventh portal opened up as a tanned woman with long black hair going to her massive ass, a long white robe that made her D cup chest more pronounced, long clawed hands with black fur near her feet, hands and pointed ears, cat like blue eyes and a long tail near her feet appeared.

"Meet Bastet, Egyptian goddess of war, cats, protector of the sun, goddess of the moon for some reason, and destroyer of Apep, snake of chaos. And she's not from any one dimension because she's a omniversel being, albeit her nation and pantheon were forgotten in the course of a thousand years."

Blake stiffened up before she found herself bowing to the screen making Weiss raise an eyebrow.

"Blake, what are you doing?"

"I don't know, my body just felt compelled to do this."

"Oh." Omni smiled. "And she's also the goddess of perfumes, protector from contagious diseases, and evil spirits. So beware Grimm! She'll kick your ass!"

Bastet looked over at Ren and walked over before looking him over.

He felt a little nervous while stiffening up. "What?"

"You smell strange, like you lack emotions yet retain it."

"That's my Semblance."

"..." she growled loudly at that.

"W-What?"

"Mortals." She frowned. "Distasteful and rude. Especially those that believe themselves above the gods. But perhaps that's they're nature. As for this particular brand of humans, you smell like darkness and decay."

"Oh." Cynthia smiled. "I know this uncle Omni! The reason why humans here smell is because they are half Grimm! Meaning evil spirits in their hearts!"

"Um, what's going on here? Where am I?" asked An Ren to Lilithmon.

"No idea, but that boy over there is wipe for temptation." She said while Cardina looked at Zap and backed away as Coco was still cursing over her broken wings. "And I think you and me would be great partners in crime, if only for a moment or two."

"And why did he call me mom? I'm too young to have kids."

"No idea."

Omni looked around before pulling out a laser pointer and made the red light appear on Lilithmon's dress. "Oh Bastet~ Look!"

The goddess turned with her ears perking up and lunged at the digimon taking her down while trying to grab at it.

"Hey! Get off!"

Blake looked at the light before trying to jump into the Scroll, only to get hurt. "Ow!"

"I'm keeping that down for later." remarked Yang.

"Ok so next number!"

"Um number three." Ren said while the portal opened...and left nothing in its wake. "Um, there's no one there."

"Hold on." He said while causing a large magnifying glass to appear. "Now look."

He did and saw a tiny girl with long brown hair with a pink clip on her hair, a small red dress, dark black eyes, a B cup chest and small ass, and holding a sewing needle in her hands.

"Meet Arrietty Clock, a Borrower from Dimension 34-SG. She's fourteen and is about two or three times smaller than a pin." Omni smiled.

"Um….why?"

"Hello." he deadpanned. "They are a species of tiny humans! What is there NOT to understand!?"

Arrietty looked up and stiffened. 'Why did I get captured!? I was just getting up from bed!'

"Wow, I can think of a few fun ways she must spend her days." spoke Lilithmon licking her lips.

"Hey! I'm not that weak." She yelled out. "But whatever you want, I am not the culprit for borrowing!"

"They 'borrow' from humans to survive." Omni explained. "And to every Fauni in Remnant, the Borrowers are almost extinct due to the increase in human extermination of rats and other vermin. She is also not illiterate or neglectful of the concept of extinction."

"Where am I?!"

"In RCDS." Cynthia smiled. "And he," she pointed to Ren. "Will be dating you if you want."

"..." she turned to him before saying. "That is crazy, even for me."

"At least SOMEONE agrees with me!" Weiss sighed in relief.

"We didn't stop agreeing with you." spoke Yang. "I just wanna see what other weird women show up. I mean...Coco who's a fallen angel? Never heard of something that weird."

"What next? Ruby with ten heads?" Nora muttered. "Or worse, a female Renny!"

"Why a female?" Jaune asked.

"He would be fucking himself!"

"Next number!" Cynthia chirped. "Next number girly man!"

"Twelve."

The twelfth portal opened up as a small person with purple eyes, pink hair with a long ponytail with three black bows on their sides and tip of the ponytail, wearing a black bodysuit with a combat skirt made of white, yellow and red armor with a two headed silver eagle on the belt buckle, a small curved black horn on one side and a long sheath on the other side of their hips, white and gold gauntlets, white strapped boots, black stockings, a red and gold chest piece, and holding a longsword in their right hand appeared.

"This is Astolfo, or Rider of Black, a Servant from the Fate Stay Universe who is a weak knight." Omni sighed. "But is one of the Twelve Paladins of Charlemagne, the Holy Roman Emperor. This one faced a giant, many harpies, and tamed a hippogriff. Oh and this knight went to the moon to find some lost reason."

"Huh? Where am I? Who are all you people?"

"Hello." Ren waved slightly.

"By the way, a Servant is a hero that is summoned to obtain a Holy Grail, that makes any wish come true. But this one is from a dimension where the grail is being fought over by a Red and Black faction. Its long and let's just say this knight survived the war. And it was seven against seven Servants!"

Ruby blinked while feeling something was off. "Um Yang."

"Yes?"

"I don't think that's a girl."

"What? Ruby of course it is, just look at her."

"I'm telling you, that is not a girl!"

Astolfo looked at Ren before smiling. "Hey, are you my master? Because if you are then I will protect you with my lance!"

Omni snickered under his breath. "He he he."

"Um, thanks, but I'm no one's master really."

"Oh, still I will help you out as my duty as Paladin of Charlemagne's rule!"

Cynthia looked lost as Omni snickered. "Uncle Omni? Why are you laughing?"

"Fine, I will tell you all." He snickered. "Lancer of Black isn't a girl. It's a guy DRESSED up as one! HAHAHAHAHAH!" He fell over and rolled around laughing. "OH GOD! AHAHAHA!"

"What?!" yelled everyone with wide eyes, minus Rider of Black.

"What? This is a date show for girls and traps." Omni said while taking a deep breath. "Oh that was funny, you should've seen your faces."

"I KNEW IT!" yelled Ruby. "That was a guy!"

"...damn." Yang muttered. "That really shocked me."

"I….I can't believe it." muttered Weiss.

"I need...to write this." Blake muttered while taking out a notebook.

"Ok next number." Omni said. "Before I laugh again at my brilliant idea."

"Number ten." Ren deadpanned. "And I hate you."

The tenth portal opened as a tall woman with long scarlet hair reaching to her medium sized ass with two ponytails with black ribbons near hear sides, blue eyes, with a green beret with a gold star on it, a long green dress with short white sleeves that went halfway to her elbows, a E cup chest with a black ribbon on it, white pants, and some black shoes appeared.

"Meet the Gate Guardian of the Scarlet Devil Mansion! Hong Meiling!" Omni smiled. "From Gensokyo, the land of forgotten fairytales and fantasy! Oh and she's a yokai, a demon in human form with a heart of gold!"

"Huh? Where am I? And…where's Sakura-san?" she muttered while looking around before seeing Ren and got into a stance. "Hey! What are you doing here, this is private property!"

"Relax, you're somewhere far from home." spoke Lilithmon.

She looked at her before saying. "Your auras aren't human or yokai."

"Right, she has the ability to use martial arts in battle and has the ability to use Qi, a power that allows her to see auras and energies while at the same time making Qi damaku's, or bullet hells, in battle. Meaning she can see Semblances Ren." Omni explained. "But she can slack off sometimes and well...she uses only ten percent in battles as in Gensokyo, you do Spell Card rules instead of full on fighting. Makes it easier to fix problems and keep the peace."

"How do you know so much?" Cynthia asked.

"I...don't exactly know." He muttered. "It's...just a feeling." 'Why DID I recall my days as Vanitus just now!?'

Meiling looked at Ren before saying. "Let me guess, you are from China?"

"No, I'm from Anima."

"...eh?" she said in confusion. "Strange, you look like someone from my home nation. Oh well, if you don't mind I'm going to take a nap now." she then walked over to the pedestal and fell asleep while standing up. "Zzzzz."

Nora sweatdropped seeing that. "Damn, she's like a lazy Pyrrha, with bigger boobs."

"Hey! I'm right here Nora."

"Just saying." she shrugged. "Plus look at her, she's almost like you."

She shook her head while Jaune chuckled slightly.

Cynthia smiled while saying. "Next number or I say 'Boot to the Head'."

KICK!

"OW!" yelled Lilithmon as a boot hit her on the face. "YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

"So next number." Cynthia said with a smile.

"Two?"

The second portal opened up as a woman with long spiky purple hair, turquoise eyes, wearing a black peak cap with chain links, a skimpy white tank top that revealed her E cup bust, a pair of skimpy cut off shorts that showed her large ass, with a black collar around her neck, a pair of handcuffs around her waist, some long high heels and holding a riding crop in her left hand appeared.

"This is Poison from Dimension 69-SF, and well I'm not a Street Fighter person." he pointed to Cynthia. "But my niece is! So tell the audience about this woman!"

"Poison is a well known member of the Mad Gear Gang and has been known to use a style of pro wrestling mixed with street fighting. She's also been known to hide a secret~" she sang with a snicker.

"Is she a guy?" asked Cardina with a green face.

"Maybe, maybe not, it can be either way." she shrugged.

"Even I don't know." Omni shrugged. "Hell no one knows, so yeah hope someone finds out one day. Maybe when Ren dates her later?"

Poison looked at Ren and smirked. "Do you have what it takes big boy?"

"For what?"

"Handling a girl like me~?" she said while hitting her riding chop on her palm, making Glynda a little flustered.

"What's wrong?" Ozpin asked with a knowing smile.

"N-Nothing."

"Are you sure? Because that woman reminds me of a certain street thug."

"I-It's nothing!"

"Ok, whatever you say." he smirked.

"Ok we have two portals left." Omni said. "So pick your poison, not the girl, and lets get this show going Renny!"

"That's MY nickname!" Nora yelled.

"Not anymore~"

Ren looked at the portals and felt dread from both of them. 'Oh man, what else could he have in store for me?'

"Anytime now." Omni yawned. "I have a lot of things before the next commercial. And one of them is getting some worlds made along with ferrying the dead to the afterlife."

"Eleven."

The eleventh portal opened as a young girl with mid length pink hair that was tied with purple ribbons, blue eyes, a dark black and pink gothic outfit with a frilly skirt near her small waist and several bats that connected the entire outfit together, an A cup chest, long frilly end white sleeves that went from her elbows to her long purple nailed fingers, pointed ears, white high heels with a pink spike on the tip of each shoe, long dark purple horns on her head with a black tail with two pink spots near the tip, appeared.

"Meet Lancer, or Elizabeth Báthory. She's from the same universe as Rider of Black, but unlike him, she's the very definition of tragic villain for she would one day grow up to become the Bloody Countess and the inspiration for all vampires. But for now, this is her fourteen year old self. Meaning she doesn't drink blood from her victims yet and wants to be an idol!" Omni explained. "Oh and she's not a Fauni. The dragon horns and tail are from her Innocent Monster ability, which makes her stronger than a human and can fly and shot sound blasts like a musical dragon."

She looked at Ren before laughing. "Oh ho ho, my. What a handsome pig we have, I wonder if he's up to the task of being my master and manager."

Ren felt irked at the comment before she took notice of Rider of Black.

"Oh another Servant." she huffed. "So this is a Grail War or are we on the Moon Cell?"

"No." he said. "It's a dating show."

"...oh!" she laughed while putting her hand to her cheek. "If that is it then I'm not going to care what the pigs and deer say about me. As long as my music hits them in their hearts I will not fret! Oh ho ho ho~!"

Ruby looked at her before looking at Weiss. "She's kinda like you if you...were less nice and more annoying."

"Oh and Ruby." said Omni to the screen. "She can't recognize people as people due to her Mental Disorder ability, meaning she thinks everyone is lower then herself. Like Weiss during her period."

"Hey!"

"Just saying." He said with a shrug. "So now lets see what's in portal number five!"

The portal opened up as a tall long black haired woman with blue eyes, a G cup chest and thick set of hips, with a gold tiara on her head and silver bracelets, a tight red, white and blue leotard with a gold eagle near the chest area, with a gold belt, red boots and holding a golden lasso on her side appeared.

"Say hello to Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman of the Dimension 34-DC."

"Wait, where am I? This doesn't look like my home." she asked looking around.

"Welcome to RCDS." Omni waved. "Where you get a chance to date Ren over there." He pointed to Ren. "And don't worry about your strength, humans here can heal fast with their auras. But not by much."

"Who are you? Where is Themyscira?" she frowned.

"You're in another dimension and I'm Omni, a god of space and time." He smiled. "And Ren, she was made out of clay and infused with life and powers by the Greek Gods and Goddesses. Oh and she's an Amazon, a race of warrior women that can make Pyrrha look weak in comparison."

"Rude." muttered said girl.

"Just saying." He deadpanned. "Also Diana is part of the Justice League, a organization of heroes that save the world and other planets in the name of freedom and peace, although there are more 'meta humans' then regular humans. So Adam." He pointed to the screen. "You can have this victory because in her universe, meta humans are considered evil and a threat to normalcy aka will get killed in a mob."

Said Faunus glared at the man due to the smugness in his tone.

"Anyway." He pointed to Cynthia. "Grope her boobs my niece! I want to see her getting fondled by a Slime Doll!"

"Can't, I'm on break." she pulled out a break sign and sat down before laying down on the floor.

"Fuck!" He groaned before grabbing Diana's breasts. "Anyway, I want you to date him when we get to you, and don't worry he's not afraid of a man hating Amazon princess."

SMACK!

"OW! MY SKULL!" He yelled while some bone fell out of his hood.

"How dare you touch me there!" she scowled while walking over and picked him up by the neck and pulled her fist back. "Return me to my home or else."

"Ow….nope." He groaned before causing her powers to disappear in a ball of light, which floated near his head. "Now, just relax before I turn you into a skinned rug and give it to an Ursa as a play toy!"

She glared and swung her fist, but he avoided it and the other punches that followed. "Hold still!"

Omni sighed before grabbing her arm and ripped it off. "Bad girl."

"AHHH!"

He shrugged before re-attaching it. "Told you idiot, I'm not like Hades or any other god. I'm a god above them. Oh and Bastet is here so I suggest you stop acting like an idiot before I show the kids of this world the inside of a human's body. Ok~?"

"Oh god, he just tore her arm off." spoke Jaune looking green again.

"And put it back on!" Nora gasped. "Renny is in more trouble!"

"We've gotta find him and fast." spoke Pyrrha.

Omni sighed before saying. "Let's cut to commercial...oh wait!" He pointed to the screen. "I forgot to mention, reviews! It's your time to shine! Who will you pick for Ren's first date? Lilithmon? Poison? Arrietty? Cardina? Diana? An Ren? Bastet? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo? The choice is yours and next time we meet we shall do the WHEEL OF DATING TROPES!"

The screen then changed to Ren in a maids outfit while Nora popped a nosebleed.

"Oh Dust." Jaune groaned as the 'To be continued' sign appeared on screen. "Not again."


	3. The First Date

Chapter two: First date and into to the Wheel of Dating Tropes!

Xxxx

Pyrrha finally placed the last tissue into Nora's nose while said girl was still thinking about Ren in a maid's outfit.

"So sexy and cute."

"Is she gonna be alright?" asked Jaune.

"No idea, but if she sees anymore images of Ren like that then she might die." She said as the screen changed to show Omni cleaning up some blood.

"Welcome back to RDCS! The one show where blood is available to the world! I'm your host Omni and this is my hostess Cynthia!"

"Hello!"

"Now after a long time of votes we have our first pick." He pointed to a large board with names on it. "So let's find out who dates Ren. Lilithmon? Poison? Arrietty? Cardina? Diana? An Ren? Bastet? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo?"

The screen showed a said girls pictures and a bar graph as we find it was…..lacking.

"...huh. So by two votes, the winner of this date is Poison." He pointed to said woman. "Hopefully she's not like Glynda in bed."

"Sweet, guess I get first taste." she smirked at Ren.

'Oh god. She's going to...ugh I don't know what's she's going to do.'

Omni walked towards the wall before summoning a massive wheel with several pictures ranging from normal to….very erotic. "This is the WHEEL OF TROPES! And with this, you can pick what kind of date will happen, up to thirty at a time though in this case as well...the possibilities are as endless as Qrow's drinking problem."

"Who spins it?" asked Cynthia.

"Ren of course. It's his game show." He said while looking at the screen. "So audience, lets watch as this virgin becomes a man!"

"Um, can I just take her out on a walk?" he asked.

"No." He deadpanned. "That's boring and even Ozpin would find that lacking."

"It's true." Muttered said headmaster to himself. "A simple walk would be lacking in quality."

"Ozpin you're not helping." frowned Glynda.

"What? It's my honest opinion."

Omni pointed to the wheel. "Now, spin the WHEEL OF TROPES!"

He groaned while looking at the other girls, who where either interested in him getting a strange trope or wishing him luck. He walked over to the wheel, grabbed it, and gave it a spun.

And it went REALLY fast, like chainsaw fast.

"Wow." Ruby said in shock. "That's faster than me."

"If it's something raunchy I pray they cut away from it." spoke Weiss.

"Or not." Blake deadpanned. "He did show incest and blood on screen, so he might….show porn."

The wheel spun faster and faster as it started to catch fire.

Cynthia smiled and held out a marshmallow next to it.

Only for it to melt away and dropped in Zap's mouth.

"Mmmm, zap." The pink slime said with a grin.

"Hey that was mine!"

"Zap." The slime said before slithering away as the wheel started to slow down.

Click.

Click.

Click….click.

Ren gulped as it began to slowly reach something. 'Please don't let it be crazy!'

Omni looked at it while cleaning his robe. "Huh, this is interesting." He pointed to the screen. "Our first date is a boxing match! With them fighting to the so called death!"

"What?!"

The deity pointed to the two of them before snapping his fingers and changed their clothes into boxing outfits with large cartoonish boxing gloves as the room became a large stadium. "In this corner! With a fixation of pancakes and a cock the size of a middle finger! Give it up for Lie Ren!"

The crowd cheered while An Ren blushed at the mention of the cock size, although some of the girls like Lilithmon were getting very horny or embarrassed.

'That little pig is going down.' Thought Elizabeth Báthory with a smirk.

"Don't go telling that!" yelled Ren.

"Too late!" Omni yelled out while turning to Poison. "And in this corner! With a boob size that makes little girls and Weiss cry like babies! Give it up for Poison!"

The crowd cheered while Poison posed a little and punched the air with a few jabs.

"Now!" The deity yelled out. "Let's get ready to RUMBLE!"

Cynthia pulled out a paper sign that read ' _Round One_ ' on it.

Ding ding ding.

Ren gulped while Poison took a boxing stance with him trying to do the same. "How is this considered a date?"

"Don't worry." Poison said before hitting Ren in the face. "I'm accustomed to fighting."

"Ooh! Poison just landed a right hook! Oh the humanity of this craziness!" Omni yelled out while videotaping it. 'Hope Yui likes this.'

"Go! Do an uppercut!" Yang yelled out.

Ren groaned and shook his head before ducking from the next swing and tried moving back.

Poison then gave an uppercut to the boys face and then a blow to the jaw.

"Wow." Mercury said while watching the beatdown. "This is almost like the time you attacked that guy for grabbing your ass Emerald."

"He deserved it."

"Well in his defense, you do have a thick ass."

She glared and slugged him in the jaw.

"OW!"

At the same time, Ren went flying into the ropes while wiping away the blood.

'Ow, ok. This is almost as bad as boxing an Ursa!'

PUNCH!

Ren went to the right as he got hit in the left eye.

"Are you getting tired? Because I'm getting started handsome~"

'Maybe I should toss in the towel.' He thought before seeing Zap cheering him on.

"Renster! Go! Go go go!" She cheered on while using Fallen Archangel Coco as a pom pom.

"Hey! Stop that you fucker!"

The real Coco facepalmed while Velvet was cheering and looking really pumped up.

"Yes! Go for the kill!"

'Who knew she was a boxing fan.' thought Fox.

POW!

Ren went on the ground while covered in blood.

"One, two, three." Said Omni before Ren got up. "He's in it! Oh my god! He's back up and ready to regain his pride!"

"Ow...ow...ow."

Ding ding ding!

"Oh it's the end of round one! Will the Biggus Dickus win this fight or fail like a Beowolf in a skating rink?"

"I feel…..sore…"

Cynthia raised a sign reading ' _Round two_ ' on it.

Ding ding ding!

POW!

He got hit in the stomach as Nora was looking very worried.

"Ren! Don't give up! You are better at this! Please! Beat that bimbo!"

"He can't hear you."

"Shut up Pyrrha! I'm trying to cheer my man on!"

Ren groaned while feeling very sore before punching Poison in the boobs.

"Oh right in the chest!" Omni yelled out. "Oh, this is getting good! The biggus dickus is getting ready for a counter strike! How will the venomous Poison counter this hunter of pain?!"

'At this point it's way too easy for me.' Poison thought while slugging Ren in the crotch.

"AHHHH!"

Ding ding!

"You got a red flag!" Cynthia called out. "It's illegal!"

"What? He hit me in the boobs."

"No punching below the belt."

"Fine."

Cinder looked on while looking a little interested. "Take a note Emerald, start boxing practice after the invasion."

"After I beat Mercury into submission." She frowned while punching Mercury for groping her ass again.

"Ow ow ow ow!"

Ren winced and curled up on the ring. 'It's official, I need to just surrender.'

"Hey get up." Omni called out. "You have one more...wait. What am I thinking!? One, two, three, four-"

Ren groaned while feeling a little hurt as An Ren looked a little concerned.

"Um, go Ren?" She cheered on with a blush. "You're doing well?"

"I can't...feel myself….down there."

"Come on biggus dickus!" Lilithmon called out. "You can do it! Even the wonder boobs can do it!"

"Hey!" Wonder Woman frowned.

Poison tapped her foot on the ground. "Really? This is what you can accomplish? Boring."

That's when Ren felt something snapping inside him, yes he may not feel his lower regions but being called boring after getting slugged? That's pushing it by a lot. Heck he fought Grimm for a living. He tried to slowly push himself up with a grunt.

Poison smirked. "Looks like you have some spunk."

"Same for you….gorilla." He grunted while getting up and looked serious.

"Oh boy." Yang said with a gulp. "Ren's going to get the snot punched out of him."

"Why?" Ruby asked.

"You don't call a girl that."

"Oh really?" Poison frowned with a serious look. "You might have looks, but you sure don't have brains."

He moved his arms up before willing himself to use his aura to increase his speed. "Then try and hit me."

POW!

She blinked as she completely missed and saw Ren's arm reaching out and slugged her in the left eye. "Gah!"

'This might hurt me afterwards but I'll show that girl not to call me boring!'

"Ooh! Look at that! The biggus dickus gave the venom fighter a slug! Oh the humanity! This is going to be a good one or my name isn't Alabama Bigbong! Which it is not!"

"Yay!" cheered Cynthia.

Ren, using his new speed, gave blow after blow to the pink haired woman while trying to do a knockout blow. 'Come on! Just fall!'

Jaune looked on in surprise while Nora was cheering louder and louder.

"GO REN! BEAT THAT BITCH!" She yelled out as Ren punched Poison in the jaw. "YAHOO!"

'Fuck! Where'd this guy get this boost of speed?' She thought before seeing him hitting her in the gut. "Gah!"

Ren felt his aura about to be depleted as he moved under her and used the last of it to power his right arm. "FALL!"

PUNCH!

"GAH!" She cried out while getting a upper cut to the jaw. 'Just like that man.'

DING DING DING!

"KO!" Omni yelled out as Poison went flying into the ceiling. "The winner of the boxing date is Lie Ren! The biggus dickus of Anima!"

Ren groaned and fell on his butt while panting. 'By Dust….that was painful.'

Nora cried out while hugging Pyrrha and Jaune tightly. "YES! REN WON!"

"Gah! We...know."

The stage changed back into the RDCS location as Cynthia was busy getting Poison out of the ceiling.

"Congratulations!" Omni grinned. "How do you feel winning against a woman that fought super powered fighters and soul taking dictators?"

"Like I should've...thrown in the towel."

"That would have worked too, but remember Nora might have cried for days if you did that. I know that Cynthia would do that if my pal did the same." Omni looked at the screen. "Oh Torchwick, I think you should hire this guy. He's a bodyguard in the making."

Said man shrugged and smoked his cigar. "Neo is better at that then a hunter that got pummeled."

Said girl nodded while Ren got up and tried staggering out of the ring.

Omni snapped his fingers while healing Ren's body. "Ok, lets now go to the board of love!"

A large board with a large heart with a percentage sign appeared next to him as Poison finally got out of the ceiling.

"Using our infinite information we shall see how comparable you will be. And no it's not biased, I maybe a god but I'm not doing forgery." He said while Cynthia was looking in Poison's pants.

"Mmmmm."

"Hey! Get out of there!" she slapped Cynthia's hands making her pout.

"I was just curious."

"Just stop, unless you have cash that is." She smirked as Weiss went wide eyed.

"Oh god! She's a prostitute if she's so casual about that towards a child!"

"Prostitute?" Ruby asked. "What's that?"

"When you're older." Yang warned.

"Aw!"

The board started to show numbers before it stopped at ' _30%_ '.

"My, I thought it was going to be bigger." Omni said with a sigh.

"What happens now?" asked Ren.

"Oh she goes back to her own dimension and I add a new girl." He smiled. "But I have to say one thing before I do that. All percentages that are lower than thirty percent will be going home."

ZOOP!

A portal appeared next to Poison while Lilithmon sighed.

"Well I hope the next girl is a fan of whips." She licked her lips. "Or bondage in general."

Glynda sighed in relief as she felt a little embarrassed at this particular woman, for personal reasons.

"Works for me, I've got better stuff to do anyway." remarked Poison. "As for you." She pointed to Ren with her whip. "Next time you come to my terf, I'll show you a good time."

WHIP!

"A very good time with my whip that is~" she winked making Ren pale before she walked through the portal which closed.

Omni chuckled. "Looks like you got a sparring partner. Hope you get better or you might become her bitch."

He paled as another portal appeared behind Omni.

And zooming in fast came a rather short, of about one hundred and sixty two centimetres, girl with fair skin, pink lips, short somewhat scruffy black hair with violet streaks, brown eyes with lavender eyeshadow. She wore a black and yellow suit of armor, that made her D cup chest and large ass apparent, with yellow discs on her wrists and boots with each one sporting a red spot in the center, a matching helmet, and black underclothing with a hint of red linings.

"Meet Go Go Tomago of Dimension 345-BS! She's a tomboy from San Fransokyo who's in college and is a superhero named Gogo! She built that suit by the way along with her team the Big Hero Six."

"What the? Hey, where am I?"

"Welcome to RCDS. In this game show you're going to date him." He pointed to Ren. "In a series of challenges to see if we can get Ren a harem or a girlfriend."

She looked at him before blowing a bubblegum. "Uh huh, yeah that's not gonna happen. Now tell me just where I am buddy."

"It's a secret." He gave a thumbs up. "And you can't leave because you're in the presence of a god and goddess in training."

"You...a god?"

He pointed to her before causing her suit to vanish, leaving her naked. "Yep. And wow that's a hairy bush."

She jumped and covered her spots with a blush making Yang cover Ruby's eyes, again.

"Hey! Stop that!" Ruby yelled out. "I've seen your bush!"

"You need to keep as much of your innocence as possible!"

Ren popped a nosebleed while Omni looked at the screen.

"Ok one down and many more to go! So who will be next? Lilithmon? Go Go? Arrietty? Cardina? Diana? An Ren? Bastet? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo? Leave your votes in the reviews and we will be back soon!"

The screen on the Scrolls then started to show Ren cooking pancakes while Nora was giving him a kiss on the lips in her underwear.

Nora saw this and realized it was her from this morning. "AHHHHH! NO! DON'T SHOW THE WORLD MY UNDERWEAR!"

"Too late~" Cynthia called out as a 'To be continued' sign appeared in front of Nora.

'NOOOOOO! NOT MY PINK PANTIES!'


	4. The Second Date

Chapter three-The second date and a cat girl in the harem!

Xxxx

Nora curled up into a ball while looking red as tomato. "Why did they show my PINK PANTIES?!" 'No! I won't be able to marry now!'

"Out of all the things you've done, that's the thing you're riled up about?" Jaune said.

"Yes!" She sniffled. "They were my special panties! The one ONLY RENNY can see!"

"Well think of it like this, maybe you can find a new pair he'll like even more." offered Pyrrha.

"But that defeats the point!"

The Scroll screen slowly changed from a picture of a naked Nora to the RCDS stage, where Omni, Cynthia and Ren were busy trying to run from a pissed off Gogo, who was still naked.

"Worth it!" Omni laughed.

"Get her to stop!"

"I'm going to kill you!" Gogo yelled while Omni noticed the camera and waved.

"Hello Remnant! Welcome back to RCDS! I'm your host, OMNI!" He waved. "And today, we will go to the second date!"

"I'm going to end you!"

"But first, Cynthia! Distract her with your cuteness!"

"Right!" She jumped in Gogo's path and started making puppy dog eyes.

She stopped and felt compelled to hug her tightly.

"Pwease don't kill us mean lady."

'What's...what's with her?!' She thought while Omni and Ren finally catched their breaths.

"That…" Ren panted. "Was close…"

"True, but at least you saw a girl naked." He said as Nora got a little irked. "Anyway, today we see who dates you next. Will it be Lilithmon? Go Go? Arrietty? Cardina? Diana? An Ren? Bastet? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo? I don't know but let's check the board!"

The screen finished calculating and showed some interesting results.

"Huh, looks like today you and Bastet will be on a purrrrfect date!" He said while pointing to the goddess.

"Make that pun again and I will feed you to my pets."

"...ok." He said with a gulp.

Blake looked at the screen and bowed again.

"Blake, how much are you gonna keep doing that?"

"I don't know. I really don't know." She said while Weiss looked a little annoyed.

'I hate to see what she'd do if that lady was right in front of her.'

Omni summoned the _Wheel of Tropes_ and pushed Ren to it. "Now spin the WHEEL OF TROPES!"

"Alright alright." He said before it spun like a chainsaw again.

And caught on fire at the same time.

"Wow, nice arm Lie Ren." Omni admitted. "Ever thought of going into baseball?"

"No."

"Well you should."

Click.

Click.

Click…click.

Yang watched the wheel slow down and felt a little nervous. "I hope he doesn't get rocket launching."

"At least it can't be anything too bad, right?" asked Ruby.

"Hope so."

Omni looked at the results and blinked. "Ok, so now….wow. It's a date at the gym! Congratulations!"

"Hmm, it's been a while since I worked up a sweat." Bastet said with a loud purr.

Ren shivered at that before Omni snapped his fingers and caused the room to become a large gym as his clothes changed into a green shirt and tight black shorts and the goddess had a tight white top and super tight blue pants with a cat on it.

"Now since this is you having fun at a gym, that means you have to show your bodies to the entire cast and world. Oh and no horse play, these things are dangerous." Omni explained. "So get ready to work a sweat!"

Bastet walked to some weights while her ass shook a little to the audience. She grabbed them with one arm and easily lifted them up and then back down. "This may take a while if they weigh this much."

Winter looked at this and felt a little annoyed. "Really, this? How boring."

"What a tight ass." One of the soldiers said while looking at his Scroll in her presence.

"Stare too much and I'll make you do laps."

"Y-Yes lieutenant!"

As for Ren, he felt like his shorts were too tight as he started to use a treadmill. 'What kind of shorts are these?! And please don't let Nora see this!'

Nora drooled seeing Ren with Pyrrha wiping the drool away using a towel.

"Nora." Jaune sweatdropped. "This isn't the best time."

"So tight." She said while drooling some more.

"Think we should stop her from watching this?" Pyrrha whispered.

"I really don't know."

Bastet started looking at Ren while purring a lot. 'Mmm, that mortal looks nice. And his ass is really tight.'

'Who even goes to the gym for a date? I've never heard of something like that.' Ren thought while feeling running faster on the treadmill. 'And why is that woman looking at me like that?!'

Bastet purred while stretching out and made her ass stick out. "Ah, this is what I need after so many years of not doing anything."

"Wait? How long was that?" Asked Ren.

"About a few thousand years, apparently my pantheon fell into the realm of demons. Mortals are dumb that way."

"So…..um what did you do?"

"Sleep and killed Apep every night." She said. "Mostly sleep."

"Apep?"

"A primordial snake that wants to eat the sun and bring the world into the void again. He does it every night, or attempts it." she replied before doing some crunches.

Ren shivered while feeling like Nora would try to break that serpent if she sees it. 'I hope she doesn't try that.'

Jaune looked at the Scroll and blinked. "Pyrrha, if I was in a gym setting, would you drool at me or not?"

"What?! N-No way! I mean, why would I?" she asked looking away with a blush. 'If he wore tights like that, I don't think I'd be able to stick around too long.'

"Oh…." he nodded before lightly blushing. 'Stupid!'

Bastet finished her crunches before doing some pushups as Ren started to do some stretches.

POP!

He froze as his back popped from the exercise. "Oooh, I felt that one."

"Ah." She sighed while getting up and walked to Ren's side. "Want a partner?"

"No no, I'll be alright. I just need a sec to, ah!" he groaned feeling another pop.

She sighed before rubbing his leg. "I suggest you listen to me mortal before you break apart."

POP!

"OW!" He yelled before Bastet started to crack every bone in his body with her strength.

POP!

Which Nora looked surprised at since she didn't expect someone to have her strength. "Wow, she must work out a lot."

"Or she is a deity." Pyrrha pointed out.

Blake looked at the Scroll before purring loudly. "Purrrrrrr!"

Yang chuckled at that before petting her on the head. "Want to be a pussy cat Blakey?"

"Ooh! Does this mean we can take pictures with her and Zwei?" asked Ruby.

"Arf." Zwei barked while jumping on Blake's back. "Arf arf!"

"Yes we can."

"Purrrrr."

Bastet looked at Ren while cracking his back and placed him on the floor. "There, feeling better?"

"Ow….yes."

"Good, then you can spot me while I lift that bigger weight." She said while grabbing a ten ton weight and started lifting it up.

Ren groaned while noticing that her nipples were poking out of the fabric. He blushed and looked away while hearing her grunt and glanced down at her ass. 'By Dust….she's really hot!'

'Mmm, maybe I should use the fifty ton weight?' She thought while Omni was sleeping on Cynthia's head.

"Zzzzzzzz." He snored while Cynthia was looking annoyed.

"Wake up uncle Omni!"

He snored while rolling over and Cynthia got an idea as she threw him at the two dates.

"Lift uncle Omni for fun!"

"Zzzzzzz." He snored while the two looked at the sleeping deity.

"Why?"

"For fun!" She giggled.

Ren looked at the deity before picking him up, only to find that he was FUCKING HEAVY! "GAH! I...can't lift!" He fell over as a crater was formed under him.

"Holy crap!" Yang gasped.

"That's impossible!" Weiss said in shock.

"Is he fat?" Ruby asked.

"I don't know."

Bastet looked at the deity before chuckling. "Just watch mortal."

He blinked before seeing her picking the deity up with one hand.

"See? Nothing to it." She smirked. "Even my son Maahes, the god of war, would be able to lift this thing."

"Well I can't help it if I was born human."

"And yet you are handsome as a god. Maybe I should make you my high priest after this show is over?" she smirked making him blush as she looked him over. "Are you feeling a bit warm? Perhaps we should shed a few layers to cool off."

"Um….I um…."

Nora frowned at this. "Little bitch!"

"Or we can just make out now." Bastet purred. "It's been ages since I had fun."

"Uh...but this is our first time meeting, shouldn't we take it slow?"

"Oh come now, I have been holding back a lot. You have that charm in those eyes of yours." She grinned. "Plus you smell good right now~"

"But-" he felt her grab his cheeks before pressing their lips together making his and everyone watching widen their eyes in surprise.

"RENNY!" Nora snapped in shock. "NO! DON'T FUCK HER!"

"Nora, they're just kissing."

That was when they started to take off their clothes and fuck on live television.

"YOU WERE FUCKING SAYING JAUNE?!"

"Good lord!" gasped Glynda with a blush. "That lunatic shouldn't be showing this!"

Ozpin had a nosebleed while sipping his coffee. "It's decent. Needs more thrusting on Lie Ren's part."

"OZPIN!"

"Soldiers avert your eyes now!" ordered Ironwood.

But they kept on looking with sickening interest.

"Hot." One soldier said with a grin.

"Cat fauni sex is cool."

"SOLDIERS!"

(One hour later)

Bastet purred while sweating and on top of Ren's chest. "Hathor would enjoy your cock mortal."

"So...tired…" he panted while blown away and embarrassed. 'I just fucked a goddess on our first date, in front of everyone.'

As for Nora….well….

"..." she looked at the screen with a red face and a large nosebleed.

"Nora? You alright?" Pyrrha asked.

"...I've decided." She said while getting up. "I'm getting Renny a harem! I mean holy fuck, if she can do that, then think of a lot of girls with me leading the charge!"

"Wait what?"

She grinned. "That god is going to be some help after all. He he he."

The room changed back to the RCDS studio as the girls were shocked and having a nosebleed in the case of Lilithmon.

"That was unexpected." Omni admitted. "Almost Yui levels of craziness."

"Speaking of daddy, he's still mad at you for making your own daughter without asking him for help."

"Um...well I didn't want him to find it." He blushed. "I mean I wanted Xion to play with you first."

"Do I look like some loose slut?" she glared. "For the last time-"

"I meant a play date at Chucky's Cheese." He interrupted.

"That I can do."

Omni sighed before pointing to the heart shaped counter as he caused Ren and Bastet to regain their original clothing. "Let's get the the compatibility board."

It slowly moved until it became _59%_.

"Wow, you Bastet are now in the Ren harem! Congratulations! You are girl number two!" He said as the audience cheered, sans an annoyed Lilithmon.

She smirked at that. "A harem, I like that."

"And now." He pointed to the waiting room. "You can wait here until it's time for round two."

"See you later~" She said while giving Ren's ass a loud slap and walked into the room.

He blushed while finding himself back in his clothes. He then saw a large portal appeared next to him.

"Now for the next girl!" Omni said as a giant woman with large pink butterfly wings, pink and black hair with pink and brown eyes, wearing a large fur coat around her J cup chest and large hips, and holding a staff made of bones, walked out of the portal. "Meet the half giant, half fairy Neopolitan of Dimension 34-FT. Say hi Neo!"

Neo looked at the Scroll while surprise to see herself as a giant, but annoyed about the wings.

Said alternate Neo gave a wave.

"By the way, her father was a giant version of Roman, and the mother was a fairy queen named Ruby. Funny right?" Omni asked as Ruby gagged at that.

The giant Neo looked at Ren and grinned evilly at him.

"Um, why is she looking at me like that?"

"Oh because she thinks your a doll. She likes playing with her toys." Omni smiled. "Anyway two down and many more to go! So who will be next? Lilithmon? Go Go? Arrietty? Cardina? Diana? An Ren? Giant fairy Neo? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo? Leave your votes in the reviews and we will be back soon!"

The screen flashed to show Ren doing some push ups with a naked Yang and Yerba on his back, making Nora frown.

"That should be ME!"

"Maybe we should get her some aspirin." Jaune whispered to Pyrrha.

"Good idea." She said as the 'To be continued' logo appeared on the screen. 'Still Jaune with tight shorts….hot.'


	5. The Third Date

Chapter four- The third date and and a tie!?

xxxxxx

Nora sighed while looking at the Scroll, which has been inactive for two days, much to the surprise of Remnant, but not for her.

That was when the Scroll screen turned back on to reveal...Omni and Cynthia playing tag with Ren, as the girls were busy sleeping or just counting the tiles of the now dusty location.

"You're it Ren!" Omni smiled.

"Are we almost...done?" he panted.

"Yes." He said before cleaning the studio. "Hello Remnant! Welcome back to RCDS! I'm your host, OMNI!" He waved. "Sorry about the wait, it may be a day here but it's been a year since the votes came in and well...it was boring."

And cue Remnant facepalming all at once.

"Anyway, today we have a special event!" He said while pointing to Cynthia, who had a squid in her hands. "Since we only have a vote each for three dates, Ren! You get to do the Squid Breaker challenge!"

"Um what?" Ren said.

Omni pointed to the board to reveal that it was dusty, covered in cobwebs, and that only one vote EACH popped up next two Hong Meiling, Astolfo, and Wonder Woman. "This is what happens when the votes either don't care or just forget the game show exists, which is why today with the squid on your face, you get to choose your date!"

"Uh...you mean like a blindfold? Can't I just get a regular one?"

"No. Cynthia ate the last one, plus I'm bored." he deadpanned. "So Cynthia, give him the squid!"

Pyrrha watched on while seeing the squid latch onto Ren like a hungry monster. "This is...odd."

"...kinky." muttered Nora.

Ren felt his eyes getting sucked out while the three dates walked towards the stage.

"This is funny." Astolfo chucked.

'Reminds me of Aquaman.'

"Zzzzz." Meiling snored while Ren tried to stand up.

"Cynthia." Omni smiled. "Spin the Ren!"

"Ok!" she grabbed his arm and started to pull on it and ran around him.

"AHHHHH!" he screamed while looking like a tiny tornado as he was let go and spun around as he crashed-

BAM!

Right into Wonder Woman.

"We got a winner!" Omni cried out. "The Wonder Bread of supers is your date! Congratulations!"

The audience cheered while the squid crawled away as Ren felt like puking.

"That looked…painful." Ruby sweatdropped.

"And funny." Yang laughed.

Wonder Woman picked him up. "This is a one time thing, if you do anything to blemish my honor, you will be defeated by me in single combat."

Omni whispered to Ren. "It's true, amazons are deadly, heck they even castrate guys."

"Only in extreme times." corrected Diana.

Ren paled. "N-Noted."

Omni summoned the _Wheel of Tropes_ and pushed Ren to it. "Now spin the WHEEL OF TROPES!"

"Does it still work?"

"Yes."

And cue the wheel falling over.

"...don't make fun of me." He huffed.

"Can I?" asked Yang.

Omni glared from the screen. "Do that and I'll do something evil."

"Like what? Putting you in the wash?"

He frowned while glaring at her as Ren spun the wheel. 'Oh I'll have my revenge for that one!'

Click.

Click...click...click.

"Please let it be a strip show!" Coco said while looking hopeful as the wheel slowed down.

"Congratulations!" Omni cried out. "It's The always popular hillside picnic!"

"FUCK!" She yelled while Velvet covered her ears from the yell.

"A picnic sounds nice." remarked Diana.

Omni snapped his fingers as the stage became a giant hill full of wildflowers as a giant picnic basket and blanket appeared on the grass. "Have fun~"

Both blinked while hearing song birds all over the place.

Ren coughed. "So...ready for our date?"

"Yes, I've been preparing myself ever since I arrived." She said while taking a seat while Ren sat down as well and opened the basket.

To reveal a giant sausage about the size of his body.

"..."

"That's one big sausage." Roman said while Neo quietly laughed to herself.

Ren and Diana looked at it with wide eyes while Ren looked in the basket.

"I'll get some knives and trim this down."

She sighed before pulling a sword from her bracelets. "Try this."

"...what the?"

"Magic blade made my Hephaestus, it can split an atom in half."

"You sure we can use it?"

"Yes."

"No!" yelled Weiss in horror. "That's suicide!"

"Eh?" Ruby blinked. "Why?"

"Splitting an atom will cause an explosion similar to a billion fire dust!"

"Oh no!"

Ren took the blade and sliced the sausage.

BOOOOOM!

And caused it to explode in his face.

"...cough." He got out before fainting from the pain.

(A bit later)

"Ow...that hurt." Ren groaned while feeling his face burning still.

Wonder Woman sighed while not affected by the explosion, or the fact the entire area was covered in radioactive materials that was being cleaned up by Cynthia. "My apologies, I forgot you were not immortal or gifted with invulnerability."

He groaned while his team was in a panic.

"I NEED TO SAVE RENNY!" cried out Nora running around in a panic.

"Calm down!" Jaune yelled. "This won't help him!"

"SHUT UP!"

Ren groaned while Omni walked by.

"Sorry my happy viewers, but due to an explosion and the fact that Ren got radiation poisoning, we have to cut this date short and let him heal. But first, let us see if Diana will be part of the harem!" Omni smiled while pointing to the heart shaped counter as he caused Ren and Bastet to regain their original clothing. "Let's get the compatibility board."

It slowly moved until it became 0.3%.

"...well that's what happens when you nearly kill your date. Sorry Diana, but you're going home."

"I can understand that." She sighed. "But I wish we had more time."

"Well that is understandable." he said while sending her back home as another portal appeared. "Ok, let us see the next girl, and Yang, don't smash your screen."

Yang blinked before seeing a person walking out.

To reveal a ten thousand pound version of Yang, with a black loincloth, nothing covering her P cup breasts, a giant ass and had black hair that was in a tight bun.

"Meet the Sumo of Kyoto, Yang Xiao Long Branwen of Dimension 45-SO. This girl here is the best sumo and well, is in need of a feeder." he smirked as Yang saw red. "Also, she loves guys with pink hair~" 'REVENGE!'

Team RWB gulped while Yang looked ready to kill this bastard.

"You….son of a….BITCH!" She roared.

The other Yang looked at Ren and bowed to him. "Arigato, Ren-chan."

"Uh….arigato."

She smiled before hugging him between her breasts and stomach, making him blush and Yang...pissed off.

"I will KILL **HIM!** " She roared while activating her semblance.

Omni smiled. "Anyway three down and many more to go! So who will be next? Lilithmon? Gogo? Arrietty? Cardina? Sumo Yang? An Ren? Giant fairy Neo? Fallen Archangel Coco? Zap? Hong Meiling? Elizabeth Báthory? Or Astolfo? Leave your votes in the reviews and we will be back soon!"

The screen flashed to show Ren in a green bunny girl outfit while giving Jaune, who was naked, a lap dance.

"Holy shit!"

"Jaune." Nora glared at Jaune. "Did you do that to my Renny?!"

"What no!"

"..." she pulled out her hammer. "Just to be sure!"

He gulped while the 'To be continued' logo appeared on the screen. 'Mommy.'


End file.
